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動画数:1097件

The Futility of YouTube Fame

The Futility of YouTube Fame

I have a confession to make. I am a failed YouTube star. Yes, I know, it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I have spent countless hours of my time making videos of my various hobbies, interests, and opinions, hoping to attract millions of views, likes, and subscribers. I have invested in a high-quality camera, microphone, lighting, and editing software. I have studied the best practices of successful YouTubers, such as catchy titles, thumbnails, tags, and descriptions. I have followed the trends, the challenges, the memes, and the controversies. I have done everything in my power to make my videos stand out from the crowd. And yet, despite all my efforts, my videos have barely made a dent in the vast ocean of YouTube content. My most popular video, a tutorial on how to knit a scarf, has a whopping 37 views, 2 likes, and 1 comment (from my niece, who said “nice scarf, uncle”). My least popular video, a rant on why Brexit is a bad idea, has 3 views, 0 likes, and 0 comments (not even from my niece, who probably disagrees with me). My channel has 12 subscribers, most of whom are either my relatives, friends, or bots. I have earned a grand total of one penny from YouTube ads! One sodding penny! And I can’t even withdraw that because it’s below the minimum threshold. I have come to the conclusion that becoming a YouTube star is an impossible dream. There are simply too many videos posted to YouTube every day, every hour, every minute, every second. According to YouTube’s own statistics, over 500 hours of video are uploaded every minute. That means that in the time it takes you to hear this sentence, 30 hours of video have been added to the platform. How can anyone compete with that? How can anyone hope to get noticed in such a crowded and noisy space? It’s not that my videos are bad, mind you. I think they are quite good, actually. They are informative, entertaining, and original. They showcase my personality, my skills, and my passions. They are the result of my hard work, creativity, and dedication. But they are also doomed to obscurity, because they are drowned out by the sheer volume of other videos that are more popular, more viral, more sensational, more controversial, more clickbait, more algorithm-friendly, more celebrity-endorsed, more sponsored, more fake, more stolen, more manipulated, more… well, you get the idea. I have decided to stop wasting my time making videos for YouTube. It is no longer worth it. It is no longer fun. It is no longer rewarding. It is no longer fulfilling. It is no longer meaningful. It is no longer anything. It is just a futile exercise in vanity and frustration. I have better things to do with my life! I have decided to do something actually useful with my life. Something that will make a difference. Something that will make me happy. Something that will make me proud. I have decided to start a podcast. #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年12月10日
00:00:00 - 00:03:11
How Time Tiptoes: The Comedic Ballet of Life's Gradual Unfurling

How Time Tiptoes: The Comedic Ballet of Life's Gradual Unfurling

In the grand choreography of life, there exists a peculiar dance—more a gentle waltz than a frenetic jig. It's the rhythm of gradual progress, the unhurried unfolding of events that test the bounds of our patience. From the elusive pursuit of weight loss to the seemingly eternal wait for the gym gains, and even the everyday encounters with toasters, life insists on performing its routines at a pace that can rival a sloth in slow motion. Join me as we pirouette through the comedic ballet of why things happen little by little and the curious impatience that accompanies the show. Welcome to the theatre of life, where even time takes its sweet time. How Time Tiptoes: The Comedic Ballet of Life's Gradual Unfurling Ah, the slow march of progress, the tortoise-like pace of change! It's a phenomenon that's as old as time itself—or at least as old as waiting for a kettle to boil. Now, why do things unfold at the speed of a sedated snail, leaving us tapping our toes and drumming our fingers in impatience? Let's embark on a whimsical journey through the land of gradual happenings, where even the hair on our heads grows at a pace that makes glaciers look like sprinters. Take weight loss, for instance. It's a pursuit that demands the patience of a saint and the willpower of a determined squirrel burying acorns for winter. You embark on a diet, bid farewell to your beloved snacks, and wait for the scales to reflect your Herculean efforts. But alas, the scales seem to be stuck in a time warp, frozen like a rabbit caught in the headlights. It's as if they're mocking your disciplined salad-eating ways with their lack of downward enthusiasm. And then there's the gym. Ah, the temple of sculpted bodies and iron resolve. You lift weights, grunt with the fervour of a misplaced opera singer, and wait for those muscles to pop out like unexpected guests at a party. But no, the biceps play hide-and-seek, the abs remain elusive like mythical creatures, and the mirror seems to reflect a slightly disgruntled version of yourself wondering why it's taking so long. In the grand tapestry of life, even the most mundane tasks conspire to test our patience. Take waiting for the toast to pop. It's a game of nerves, a battle of wits between you and a contraption that seems to have a PhD in procrastination. You stand there, staring at the toaster like a medieval knight facing a dragon, praying for that golden-brown miracle to happen. And when it finally does, it's not a gradual emergence but a sudden, startling event that sends your heart into a toaster-induced arrhythmia. Why, you might ask, does life insist on unfolding in the slow-motion setting? Perhaps it's a cosmic conspiracy, a celestial joke played by the universe's stand-up comedian. Or maybe, just maybe, it's a gentle reminder to savour the journey, relish the process, and appreciate the exquisite dance of time as it pirouettes through the moments. So, whether you're waiting for your waistline to shrink, your muscles to bulk up, or your toast to turn golden, embrace the gradual unfolding of events. After all, life's little victories often come not in the thunderous applause of sudden achievements but in the quiet rustle of progress, the subtle crescendo of things happening little by little. And who knows, by the time you finish reading this essay, your kettle might have finally boiled. Patience, my friend, patience. #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年11月28日
00:00:00 - 00:02:51
The Great Bacterial Majority: An Amusing Insight into Our Lesser-Known Residents

The Great Bacterial Majority: An Amusing Insight into Our Lesser-Known Residents

In the grand, often perplexing tapestry of human existence, there lie truths that can tickle the funny bone as much as they boggle the mind. One such revelation, unearthed by the ever-curious and occasionally bewildered scientific community, challenges our very notion of what it means to be human. It's a discovery that could make even the most stoic among us raise an eyebrow, or at the very least, question our next handshake. So, let us embark on a whimsical journey, guided by the light-hearted wisdom of the late, great Alan Coren, to unravel a fact about ourselves that is as amusing as it is astounding: we are, it seems, more a bustling metropolis of microorganisms than the singularly human entities we believed ourselves to be. Welcome to a world where our own cells are outnumbered, yet somehow, in a twist befitting the finest of comedies, we remain predominantly, overwhelmingly, and reassuringly human. #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年11月11日
00:00:00 - 00:03:35
The Great Horsepower Hullabaloo: An Equine Tale of Misunderstood Might

The Great Horsepower Hullabaloo: An Equine Tale of Misunderstood Might

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round, for I have a yarn to spin that will tickle your intellect and perhaps make your eyebrows ascend to new heights. Our tale concerns a matter most peculiar, one that has befuddled minds since the days when steam engines were the latest craze and horses were not just for Ascot. It's a story of horsepower, but not the kind that involves shiny automobiles and their hood-emblazoned stallions. No, this is about the real McCoy, the original horsepower – the kind that eats hay and neighs. You see, for eons, or at least since the industrial revolution, we've been living under a rather curious misconception, a sort of mechanical myth, if you will, about the power of a horse. Thanks to Mr. James Watt, a chap known for his steamy contributions to engineering, we've been measuring engine power in 'horsepower', a unit that, much like a unicorn, is fanciful in its existence. Enter R. McNeill Alexander, a British zoologist and biomechanist, armed with a treadmill, a stopwatch, and a horse that, presumably, was promised a lifetime supply of sugar cubes for its troubles. In 1993, Alexander embarked on a scientific escapade to unravel the truth about equine energy. His findings, dear readers, are the bedrock of our whimsical exploration into the world of wattage and whinnies. So, as you settle in with your cup of tea, prepare yourself for a tale that gallops through the annals of science, trots over the fields of absurdity, and jumps over the fences of logic. It's a story that will forever change the way you look at a horse, a car, and perhaps even your electric kettle. Welcome to the humorous, yet surprisingly enlightening, tale of the horsepower hoax. #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年11月11日
00:00:00 - 00:03:15
The Atomic Conundrum of Sandy Proportions

The Atomic Conundrum of Sandy Proportions

When we consider the mysteries of the universe, our minds often wander to the vast expanse of the cosmos, the uncharted depths of black holes, or perhaps the perplexing allure of dark matter. Rarely do we turn our gaze downwards, to the humble grains of sand beneath our feet. Yet, it is here, in these minute particles, that one of the most mind-boggling facts of our universe resides. A fact so startling, it makes the mysteries of the great cosmos seem almost pedestrian in comparison. It is the curious, almost laughable truth that within each tiny grain of sand, there are more atoms than all the grains of sand on our Earth. Let’s take a moment to unravel this conundrum, a thought exercise that promises to be as enlightening as it is amusing, where we delve into the atomic hustle of sandy proportions. #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年11月11日
00:00:00 - 00:02:39
An Ode to the Whimsical Wind: The Unsung Virtues of Flatulence

An Ode to the Whimsical Wind: The Unsung Virtues of Flatulence

In the vast tapestry of life's rich pageant, there exists an act of nature as timeless as it is universal; an occurrence that unites the animal kingdom in harmonious symphony. This is no grand gesture of the cosmos, nor is it a phenomenon that captures the awe of poets and artists. Instead, it is the simple, unpretentious act of flatulence. Our tale begins not in the hallowed halls of high society, where such matters are spoken of in hushed tones, but rather in the honest embrace of biology's necessity. For within this gust of bodily breeze lies a tale of well-being, an anthem for the health of the alimentary canal, and a paradoxical badge of honour in the realm of corporeal functions. So let us set forth on this journey with a light heart and perhaps a pinched nose, to explore the unsung virtues of the common fart. #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年11月10日
00:00:00 - 00:02:59
Belly Buttons in Eden: A Navel Study of the First Fashion

Belly Buttons in Eden: A Navel Study of the First Fashion

Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues, and erudite students of the esoteric and the whimsical, it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you a reading that promises to tickle the intellect as assuredly as it does the funny bone. Gather round, as we delve into an inquiry of Biblical proportions, an exploration that dares to question the sartorial completeness of humanity's original ancestors. The piece you are about to savour, "Belly Buttons in Eden: A Navel Study of the First Fashion," is a work of such sparkling wit and profound light-heartedness that it could only have been conceived in the mind of a scholar with the playfulness of Pan and the insight of Solomon. A delightful romp through theological tailoring, this essay promises to unravel the mystery of the first human attire—or rather, the lack thereof—and address the question of whether Adam and Eve were indeed the proud owners of belly buttons. With no further ado, let us lend our ears and open our minds to this delightful disquisition. Prepare to embark on a journey both rib-tickling and reflective, as we contemplate the possibility of the navel as the Almighty's own whimsy in creation. #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年11月09日
00:00:00 - 00:02:32
Early Bird, Early Worm

Early Bird, Early Worm

In the delicate ballet of the dawn chorus, where the punctual plumage performs its predatory pirouette, there lies a tale of caution, whimsy, and the unenviable position of the earthbound worm. Our story unfurls in the dew-laden hours of the morn, where ambition often leads to a grizzly end for the subterranean set. Here, we shall examine the perilous existence of the early worm, whose only crime is adhering to the age-old maxim, "the early bird catches the worm," with a fatalistic punctuality. Let us embark on a journey through the undergrowth, tiptoe past the sleeping cats, and learn why in the grand chronicle of the garden, it might sometimes be wiser to have a lie-in. #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年11月09日
00:00:00 - 00:02:17
Fowl Play: The Impracticality of Avian Autopilots in Autonomous Vehicles

Fowl Play: The Impracticality of Avian Autopilots in Autonomous Vehicles

As we stand on the cusp of a new era in transportation, marked by the emergence of self-driving cars, it is imperative to scrutinize the integral components that make autonomous navigation feasible. The control systems of these vehicles are marvels of modern engineering, synthesizing a multitude of sensory data to perform intricate manoeuvres with precision and foresight. In the realm of hypotheticals, one might whimsically consider the possibility of substituting such advanced technological apparatus with the natural instincts of an animal, such as a chicken. While the thought might evoke a certain comedic charm, it presents an opportunity to explore and affirm the critical importance and irreplaceability of sophisticated control systems in self-driving cars. This essay will dissect the myriad reasons why chickens, despite their unique biological faculties, are unequivocally unsuited for the complex task of controlling autonomous vehicles, further cementing the unparalleled role of artificial intelligence and robotics in this revolutionary field. Professor Percy Puddlewhit #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年11月08日
00:00:00 - 00:04:17
The Inefficacy of Bananas as a Weapon in Intergalactic Diplomacy

The Inefficacy of Bananas as a Weapon in Intergalactic Diplomacy

Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues, and inquisitive students gathered today, lend me your ears and allow yourselves the indulgence of a momentary sojourn into the realm of the hypothetical, accompanied by the guiding hand of your speaker, Professor Percy Puddlewhit. We are poised to embark upon a scholarly excursion, one that marries the rigour of academia with the whimsy of conjecture, as we consider a topic that is as unorthodox as it is provocative: "The Inefficacy of Bananas as a Weapon in Intergalactic Diplomacy." The human race, bound by the confines of its cradle, Earth, has long gazed upwards, beyond the blue, pondering the great celestial expanse with a mix of wonder, longing, and the trepidation that perhaps we are not alone in this vast universe. Our literature, films, and collective imaginings brim with tales of encounters with beings from worlds beyond our own—a testament to our inexhaustible fascination with the possibility of 'others' out there. Within these stories lies an array of interactions, from peaceful overtures to outright hostilities. It is within the context of these potential cosmic confrontations that we consider our armamentarium. And yet, amongst the conceivable arsenals, we find an outlier—the humble banana. In the ensuing discourse, we shall traverse a path of reason that illuminates why this comestible, the banana, beloved for its potassium-rich embrace and its penchant for inducing mirth, stands as an ineffectual choice in the theatre of intergalactic diplomacy and conflict. From the limitations of its structural integrity to its cultural connotations of farce rather than fear, we shall dissect with scholarly precision the myriad reasons for the banana's unsuitability as a weapon in any extraterrestrial engagement. With each point of contention, we shall peel back, layer by layer, the comedic skin to reveal the sobering pulp of reality—that our Earthly artifacts are but a reflection of our own anthropocentric experiences and may hold little sway over beings of other worlds. So, without further ado, let us proceed with an open mind and a willing suspension of disbelief, as we engage with the fruit of our intellectual labour—the analysis of the banana in its proposed role as a tool of war and diplomacy amongst the stars. #Poetry #Spoken Word #Narration #Animation #Life Lessons #Existentialism #Philosophy #History #Love #Nature #Human Experience #Self-Discovery #Social Commentary #Emotional Journey #Inner Reflection #Animated Narrator #Personal Growth #Spirituality #Romantic Poetry #Nostalgia #Free Verse #Sonnet #Haiku #Limerick #Ode #For Thinkers #Inquisitive Minds #For Dreamers #Soul-Searching #Mindfulness #Video Poems #Online Literature #Poetry Community #Poetry Playlist #Captions Available #Original Content
2023年11月04日
00:00:00 - 00:04:15